fighting back

22/1/12
Ok no more misery, im fed up of my own whinging if im honest. I am still in a lot of pain and my face still resembles the elephant man it is so swollen. The past 2 days have been so hard, maybe i am a wimp but it still feels like someone as hacked my mouth too pieces. Last night tho i realised i have to put myself in check, ok soup is boring and i love my food but how gutted am i going to be come friday? I just have to hope and pray now that i have given myself a kick up the arse soon enough. This morning (while it was still dark) me and my beautiful daughter Eloise went jogging, we didnt go far and i had to stop twice to fast walk but we have decided to do it every morning. I am embarressed to be seen huffing and puffing down the road but this journey is not just about me but about Eloise too. I love Eloise to pieces unfortunatly however she is a chip off the old block, my two sons can eat till the cows come home and they are skinny, but Eloise is like her mother and everything goes on her. Thing is i dont want Eloise to grow up feeling like i did, that it was wrong to eat and to become a secret binger, i want her to be proud of who is she regardless of her weight, so i thought if we did this exercise together then at least she is moving, i dont want to get on at her for everything she eats, she is the most kind hearted kid i know but kids are so cruel and already the jibes have started. It is also some mum and daughter time that we are going to enjoy, lets hope we can keep it up (and that soon i wont have to stop to walk). I apologise for the last few days of misery i have subjected you too and i need you to keep everything crossed i know i only have myself to blame but i really need to loose again friday to give me the spur i need once more. stay with me guys and if you see me jogging give me a whoop whoop xxx