17/12/11
Right yesterday I had a good day (well kind of) until i ate crumble last night, it was apple so thats sort of healthy right? So I'm lay in bed and feeling guilty yet again, so i decide the kids are at their dads tomorrow afternoon and i am going to kick some ass on the wii, sweat that oh so horrible crumble out of me and dye my hair, do the ironing, stick some extremly long nails on me, anything just anything to stop my pesky hands from putting things in my mouth! I have a week till christmas and a reply to my list to santa saying ' you must be joking im santa not a bloody miracle worker!So i drift off to sleep dreaming of me slim legged, big boobed with no extra chins and a small tidy bum.....
2am my lovely son is crying his eyes out with earache bless him, calpol and cuddles later we are down on the sofa trying desperatly to take his mind off the pain (hence why im writing this at 5.38 am) when i got to thinking about doctors. Now i wouldnt say i am a sicky person but like everyone i have times when i need the doctors but everytime i go no sooner have a i sat my fat ass in the chair when they are blaming my illness on my weight. Broken leg? Its cause your fat. Chest pains? Your fat, Conjuntivitus? Your fat, you get the picture, now i understand being big is unhealthy but so is laziness and i certainly aint that. They spend the first part of the appointment weighing me, i mean do they really have to do that? The massive flashing obese sign that flags up with my notes should give them a clue surely! While im stood there looking suitably remorseful for the chocolate spread on toast that was my breakfast im thinking, if you let me strip to my earrings (a girl cant been seen without sparkle you know) have a poo before hand and stand on one leg im pretty sure I can weigh half a stone lighter. But alas the half a stone is still there from my last appointment and im really regreting the bridget jones pants i put on this morning as im sure they are 1lb heavier than any others i wear. Then follows the usual condescending lecture and i finally escape with my antibiotics (for tonsilitus not fatitus) and a leaflet on fruit!
So come on doctors give us a break especially if you yourself are overweight, stink of fags and have a bottle of scotch in your drawer!
So its now 5.56 am see i cant even stop talking let alone eating and i know that come lunchtime when the kids depart i aint gonna feel up to a session on the wii fit and all those dreams from last night which seems so long ago now, instead i will sleep so hey i guess every cloud as a silver lining and all that as unless i snore a chomp bar up my nose im pretty sure sleeping doesnt involve eating. Cheers Sam mummy loves you loads xx
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