Im sure that like everyone else in the world anything with the word diet in it immediatly grabs your attention and you become practicly willing to try anything that is suggested. Trust me i am one of these, i guess deep down we all keep hoping there is a miracle cure that will allow is to go about our lives free from guilt, calories and carbs, personally i think apart from cutting my tongue out nothing will stop me. But im a little confused how the basis of some of these tips work, i mean i read once that cleaning the house makes you loose weight, my house is bloody spotless so why aint i thin? Apparently using bubble bath or shower gel that is scented like food, even if it is fruit can make you put on weight, personally i now stink of grass, orchids, jasmine and blossom but i am still fat! im normal i follow the rules so why doesnt it work? Nuts are good for you.... i eat peanut m&m's and my all time favourite is a toss up between walnut whips and chocolate covered brazils confused? so am i! Ive also tried pretty much all of the 'supplements' currently i have adios- designed to make you say goodbye to your extra water retention, unfortunatly i found nothing in the small print that says it also flushes out doughnuts. Liposlim- little 'milk' type cartons that you take before each meal, i suppose with this one it is so rank that you would probably want to throw up, unfortunatly i just shovelled my dinner in desperate to get rid of the taste! Acai berries, suposed to speed up your metabolism, i took mine for 4 days before the bloating (i suppose it is better to look pregnant with twins rather than fat) and weird gurgling noises coming from my stomach forced me to stop in case someone thought i had ingested a alien.
I have even tried the dreaded orlistat, for those of you that dont know it is a tablet you take and anything above a certain fat allowance gets taken away and as naturally as possible your body disposes of it (you know what i mean) now i have heard all sorts of horror stories about 'leaking' and the such like, being caught short, hours on the loo. So bearing this is mind i stocked up on loo paper and when i had a couple of days off work i started taking them................breakfast passed- nothing, lunch down the hatch- nothing! and even dinner and i didnt so much as fart! At £50 a bottle i expect at least one poo! Believe it or not the whole time i took it it never did anything to me and i didnt loose anymore weight either. I can only think that my body likes fat just as much as i do and was clinging onto it for dear life, yeah thanks for that body! see its a conspiracy they are all against me!
No comments:
Post a Comment