The going gets tough

So last night was weigh day, I knew I had done terrible, I have to hold my hands up and say the diet did not go to plan last week, things got too much and I was shovelling food in my mouth without even tasting it.If I am honest it felt good while i was eating it, even afterwards for a little while the glow of food stayed with me, it sounds stupid but it made me feel normal, i mean isn't that what most people do when they feel down, they comfort eat. However most normal people aren't huge like me, needless to say after some sleep the guilt hit hard, i tried so hard to recover from my binge but I had binged too hard. The result was I put on 4lb! That's bigger than my youngest son was at birth! I feel fatter as well, last night sat there I could've just cried my eyes out, walked out and eat myself to a big enough weight for a gastric band op. Talking too the other women helped tho, with hints and confessions of my own I managed to turn it around, Ive still lost 9lb, i just have to work extra hard now, so some early mornings are the order of the day for me as that's the only time I have to get some exercise in, next week it will be different, it as to be different because i cant keep looking in the mirror and seeing a moon face staring back at me, I cant keep looking in the mirror with disgust and feeling piles of fatty flesh while I'm in the bath. Things are tough at the moment so nows the time i really see if I am stronger than i think xxx