So were at that time of year again- christmas! plenty of parties, plenty of booze and of course plenty of food ( and i dont mean the carrot stick variety) We all want to look our best at christmas, there is always someone with a camera to remind you what you looked like after all! I am no different, yes i may have abused my body in the worse possible way by gorging it to the brim then making it feel like its never going to feel full again during my starving (sorry dieting days) but that doesnt mean i dont like nice nails, makeup and super shiny hair.
So i come in from work and there is a charity bag, seizing this perfect opportunity to get rid of my too big clothes, ok ok my too small clothes! I decide i am also going to sort through to find something nice to wear for christmas day, too get that elusive lovely profile pic. Now my wardrobe is a minefield all in itself, i must confess i have loads of clothes and i mean clothes, unfortunatly the size of these vary between a 14 and a 24 ( i hang my head in shame) there is even a brand new spanking pair of jeans in a size 12 that was bought to egg myself on and so very nearly fitted till everything went wrong :( so the 12s,14, 16s went in one pile taunting me with a 'yeah right fatty' look on their so so lovely fabrics and hooray for me so did the 22s,24s and some 20s not quite the heffalump i was before then :) which left me with a very small pile...
So i had about 3 options, i was not impressed with any of them, us girls are our harshest critics after all, so trying to jazz them up a bit i routed through my knicker drawer for a nice sparkly belt, and i found one! Silver, sparkly and ELASTICATED- julie you are a genious! My elation did not last long as the said belt then emphaisized the fact that i have not one belly but two! And worse it made my belly look sad, like the sides of its mouth was downturned (trust me my belly as very little reason to feel sad) hanging over the belt and the bottom belly (my least favourite belly to be fair) hung on my thighs like little bags! The belt came off! Back to the knicker drawer once more and there nestled at the back was a pair of 'pull in pants' OMG i nearly did a little wee with excitement! Problem solved a pair of pull in pants and my belt equals no more two bellies!
WRONG! pull in pants to not pull you in, they pull you up!! I struggled for ages to get the damn things on and when i did i was left with a flatter belly- great but 4 boobs- not so great! My whole of my top belly was shoved up so high it reached under my bra making me look like I had two racks! Now dont get me wrong i love my big boobs but i dont want bloody 4!!! So the pants went off the clothes got put back in the wardobe and so far my profile pic is going to be me in a paper hat and a bra! So my search for a flattering outfit goes on, oh and also a search for a cheap round of lipo xx
P.s just to prove the perfect profile pic does exist this was me (above) at 17stone 3 you would never guess would you xx
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