30/12/11
Right I dont know about you guys but i have had enough of all the adverts and tv programmes making us feel bad, i bet everyone as overindulged this christmas and i bet you are all hastily eating the leftover goodies before new year starts and with it the strict regimes, unless of course your lucky enough to be once of these people that can eat whatever you want. So i thought i would cheer us all up with some good points to being fat (stick with me guys i promise you there are some) For a start we are enviromentally friendly creatures us 'overgrown' lot, our special blubber means we require less heating, we are naturally more insulated than the skinnier variety, its true just ask my bf who by the time ive snuggled up and wrapped a boob over each of his arms requires no pj's or covers. So technically we are also saving money as well as the heating can be kept down low (as long as you dont use the saved money to buy chocolate its a win win situation). Then there is water usage, overgrown people have to use less water in a bath as as soon as we put our lardy arses into the water it automatically doubles in size, seriously guys the water company should charge us less. But let us not forget the most talked about topic of today- waste. 'Overgrowners' do not do waste, we eat every little thing left so we dont fill the landfill as much, thrown out food?- whats that? We should give ourselves a pat on the back for being so green. :)
We are also harder to kidnap, i mean as much as im sure someone would love to spend some time with me, the thought of actually carrying me away would be enough to put anyone off, and imagine how much it would cost to feed me? Personally i just dont think i am worth the hassle! We are extremly visible people,as much as im sure that we would like to fade into the background it just dont happen, but again this as its good points. People are less likely to bump into you- i mean they would have to blind to miss you! Looking for a friend in a pub? Again if that friend is overgrown they are so much easier to spot. I for one have found other advantages of having planets orbiting my ass- if i have a spot people are so much less likely to notice! When i exercise my ass cheeks clap so i feel like i am being extra supported and lets not forget the greatest thing about us- if it wasnt for us 'overgrowners' skinny birds wouldnt look as good!
So lets sum it up, i think we are pretty awesome, everyone should be our friends, our bodies are really doing us a favour keeping us out of trouble, saving the world from global warming and we even have our very own fan clubs- my bum cheeks just keep on cheering ;) till tomorrow keep smiling, you are who you are :) xxx
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