20/12/11
I hate food shopping the only thing is i love to eat it! I cant stand the constant jamming of trolleys, the fight the last whoopie pie ( sorry that should have read apple) and the smells. There are a few things a dieter cannot stand and thats cookery programmes, M&S adverts and the smell of asda, all those lovely carb, fat and sugary laden treats that are being baked in store. When i used to shop in store i was always very conscious of what went in my trolley, i didnt want the checkout operator to see all the cakes and pies and then see who was putting them on the conveyor, so to a certain extent i was a 'healthy shopper' with only the odd strudel slipped in. But then disaster struck......
Shopping one day with my then 2 year old son the notorious Sam i was browsing the knickers( thats another obsession we will get to another time) when he decided he was not going to stay in the trolley so he started to clamber down the sides, terrified of another broken leg when he had only just come out of plaster I tried to haul him back up, it was at this point he pulled out the ace. He grabbed my top and hung off it with all his might till my boobs popped out. Mortified and frozen with shock i just stood there for a moment with my huge nipples hanging out as several shoppers turned and stared, now my nipples are huge and then tend to resemble chocolate digestives so maybe that was why several people carried on looking barely able to tear their eyes away as they wondered whether they was on special offer. Suddenly the heat of embarresment to my face shook me into action and i quickly shoved the offending articles back in the top grabbed my son and walked out, abandoning the trolley I vowed never to step foot in there again with children.
So I started online shopping, now at first I was super good realising I could more or less avoid temptation by simply not looking up cakes, but i soon realised another advantage of shopping online and it didnt just involve keeping my nellies in my top! The staff who pick the shopping arent the ones that deliver it which meant for all they knew the pastries, chips, crisps and chocolate was for a skinny person, which brings me to my latest confession tonight I am having my christmas food shop delivered and even though im trying to diet this is what my trolley resembles: ( I find singing it out loud to the tune of the 12 days of christmas cuts the calories down)
1 bottle of Advocaat
2 crates of wkd
3 types of lager
4 swiss rolls
5 doughnut rings
6 sausage rolls
7 mini muffins
8 stuffing balls
9 mince pies
10 pizza fingers
11 chocolate truffles and.......
12 christmas puddings
Obviously they are not all just for me although if you dare touch 1,3 or 5 you may find a fatty chasing you out the kitchen. Right better go and get on the wii fit before work ................xx
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