Life of an Overeater- Fat Tv

29/12/11
So its almost new year and cant you tell! The TV at the moment just seems to be taunting us about 2 things, christmas as barely passed and already the sales adverts are on, you know that toy you bought just days ago its now £12 cheaper, wow arent we lucky! The other thing is diet adverts/tv programmes. Yesterday I had a rare day off and i was determined to do nothing but paint, read and watch copious amounts of trash on tv. For one day i wanted to treat my fat ass to a guilt free sit down, it wasnt it be. First came the adverts, lighterlife- doesnt pauline quirke look great, its obvious that it works and maybe that is my answer, controlled substances going in my cake hole. Problem! To sign up for lightlife I would probably have to miss this months mortgage payments- not good! To be fair though they are all the same, weightwatchers, slimming world, slimfast, diet chef, they all cost a fortune, not to mention the fact that healthy food is twice as much as junk its no wonder these clubs carry on year after year, yes the diet works but the minute you run out of money for membership, special food etc you pile the weight back on. Then there was yesterdays TV programmes, the choice was astounding, ' I used to be fat' ,'Half ton teen' ,' fat camp', 'biggest loser' . Now im a little confused are these things supposed to inspire me? or shame me? Everyone's idea of fat though is obviously different, i mean there were some people on biggest loser which made me feel like an obese whale in comparision and then there was half ton teen which made me feel skinny and oh so nearly made me eat a large piece of gateaux. Where do we fit really? I mean all my mates moan about their weight, so im guessing that its purely a self conscience thing but according to my bmi i am not only fat i am clinically dead- dont worry im not! They all show the same thing tho, fat people eating and generally not moving, or when they do panting like a dog on heat. So i think that i should make a tv programme about me. Im fat/dead yet i still clean up, chase the kids round, go to work and generally be normal. Yes my weight is unhealthy but to be honest it aint stopping me living my life, ok so i cant climb up the loft- but hey we have no ladders, i fart when i do a sit ups but at least i make them loud and proud and i dont demand people bring me pizzas and cakes from the supermarket while i sit on the xbox. So maybe this would be a more realistic view, but then i suppose that would make boring tv! I think my Tv debut is a long way off yet! xx