Life of an Overeater- Diets and Divorces

8/1/12
So as we all know i have previously been a big 'loser' so what went wrong? Well one thing was my divorce, although it was the right choice and i dont regret it at all now, the first year after our seperation was really hard. There was high emotions, guilt, turmoil over the kids and of course the feeling of failure. I lost my confidence and hid away at home, my emotions was all over the place and of course i had a thousand things to sort out, like who would keep the house, remortgaging and dividing assests. My stress level were at a all time high, had that to the fact that my emotions were swinging like a pendulum going between relief, strength and utter heartbreak. So i did what i always do when things get too much, i ate. Some days i couldnt eat at all it was like my throat had tightened up, others i was like a pig and i ate chocolate like it was going to be banned forever. But i was still loosing weight, obviously it was the stress making my body burn it as soon as i had eaten it, and thats when i broke my diet. In my fat addled head i had cracked it i could eat and still be thin. Of course tho over time things got sorted, i remortgaged my house and my life, we sorted out the kids and things settled down, exceot i carried on eating whatever i wanted. Then i was signed off work sick and of course my days were spent eating, the weight started to go back on.
Now i am extremly happy, in love and content with my what i have and excited for the future the only problem is that i got so content i forgot about my weight until i had almost put it all back on, so here i am now trying to get it back off again, although my reasons for loosing weight this time are very different (one day i will tell you what sparked my initial weightloss-but not yet im not ready) I want to look nice for John, I want him to be proud of me, i dont want my weight to hold me back in what we do and of course we have a holiday to look forward too, just me and John for my 30th in cornwall, a secluded lodge with a hot tub, total relaxation and im hoping for a bit of well you know, so thats why ive aimed for 39lb off by july so both of us can sit in the hot tub with champagne and strawberries and not just me with only room for john's little toe xx